Ross Lombardo
Is it still worth it to spend enough mana and money to get a house loan to slam down a big eldritch spaghetti monster? Are you doomed if you see one of them plopped down in front of you? Let’s see if we can answer that question as we rank all the Eldrazi Titans in Magic: The Gathering.
6. Kozilek, Butcher of Truth
The first Kozilek, sitting at a hefty fifty dollars and ten mana, has not aged well. Drawing four cards on cast is powerful, but that effect sets up for future turns rather than making Kozilek self-reliant as a finisher. As a result, Kozilek will be forever competing with more efficient and reliable card draw because, as a finisher, he’s easily removed, and there are bigger bodies. Annihilator 4 is not exactly anything to sneeze at, but Ulamog, The Infinite Gyre, is more devastating when it attacks. Kozilek, Butcher of Truth, does better in slower formats. On EDHrec, Kozilek has a home in over 30,000 decks. Especially as you can build around his cast trigger more readily in EDH than in other formats. However, in formats like Modern or Legacy, it sees very little play.
5. Ulamog, the Infinite Gyre
With Ulamog, the Infinite Gyre, the sad truth is that Ceaseless Hunger does nearly everything that this Ulamog does better. Instead of destroying one permanent, it exiles two; instead of being 11 mana, it’s only 10. The only thing Infinite Gyre has on Ceaseless Hunger is the annihilator trigger, which can often be better than exiling 20 cards from your opponent’s library. The question in 60-card magic is whether or not you can be reasonably fine with Ulamog being removed instantly without getting in an attack. With Path to Exile and other exile-based remove being so prevalent, not to mention things like counterspells, indestructible can end up being irrelevant. By that metric Ceaseless Hunger does twice as much for a slightly cheaper cost. Removing two things permanently can often be the difference between just playing damage control and actually putting your opponent in a bad position.
4. Kozilek, the Great Distortion
If Butcher of Truth is underwhelming in 2022, then his other version, the Great Distortion, must be terrible, right? Well, yes and no. Great Distortion has less business being in 60-card constructed despite his seemingly more powerful effect. The main reason is that he requires wastes or other colorless sources to play on top of his demanding mana cost. However, Great Distortion has a use-case as a colorless commander that shouldn’t be overlooked. In EDHrec, Kozilek, The Great Distortion currently is the most popular colorless deck with over 4000 decks. This is because Kozilek can refuel your hand once you dump a bunch of mana rocks to cast him, and then you can use his other ability to counter a lot of your opponent’s key spells. He can be a very good leader of an Eldrazi deck, protecting your other powerful Titans or big Eldrazi.
3. Emrakul, the Promised End
Emrakul, the Promised End has a lot going for it. Its effect is a fixed Mindslaver, and its protection covers a wide band of the most effective removal. It has a cost-reduction mechanic that actually takes some of the pressure off it to simply win the game on the spot. It even has some very high-tier evasion with both flying and trample. Emrakul, the Promised End sees a small amount of play in Modern, and it’s perhaps fair to say the reason for that is that though it does a lot, it doesn’t either win the game, nor does it pull you that far ahead. In addition, most of the graveyard decks of modern, the ones which would be naturally reducing its cost, don’t really have a place for an eight to thirteen-mana beatstick. It would be worth keeping an eye on it if it ever crosses over to MTGA formats like Historic.
2. Ulamog, The Ceaseless Hunger
Ulamog is as lean, mean, and efficient as Eldrazi Titans get. For ten mana, you get an indestructible 10/10 which will chew through twenty cards of your opponent’s deck each time it attacks and exiles two permanents whenever it’s cast. 60-card opponents have three turns to answer this monster before they run out of library. Ulamog sees play now and then, but there is only so efficient a ten-mana spell can be before you simply go for cheaper options. Ulamog has a home in various builds of Modern Tron, but he looks much less impressive when you have an 8-mana planeswalker that simply obliterates your opponent’s board in the same deck.
1. Emrakul, the Aeons Torn
Do you want a card that will win? Do you want a creature that your opponent, even if they survive a hit from it, will almost certainly never be able to remove without a board wipe? A board-wipe much harder to cast because they had to sacrifice six permanents just for the privilege of being attacked by this giant 15/15 flying mass of fettuccine and hate? Emakul, the Aeons Torn is your card. Emrakul is unsubtle and about as destructive as a nuclear bomb. It’s almost a shame she sees a lot less play in a world where her enablers, like Through the Breach, can be countered with Force of Negation for no mana down. She has a home in some decks right now, like Indomitable Creativity, but it might be possible that magic might have left her and the design behind her by the wayside as it evolved. Creatures are, by and large, much more efficient for a lower cost. There’s no reason to put all your eggs in one basket when those eggs each come with their own baskets nowadays. It’s sad that we may soon live in a world where Emrakul someday gets outshined or made irrelevant by power creep, but for now, she remains about the most powerful thing you can do in a game of Magic the Gathering.
